I know I have been complaining a lot lately. It's human nature I guess when you are only getting a few broken hours of sleep a day. Still as tired as I man at this moment I am filled with love. Of course I love my husband and child but as we all know there are times when it more prevalent than others.
Last night Squeaker fell asleep around 2am then woke around 5:30am. Then went all day until 4pm. Napped until 6pm then at 10:30pm went to bed. These night don't happen often but when they do they just make life really hard. Thankfully Trey was off today and was a great helper. All this made me feel really good.
At 1:30am Squeaker woke up. Okay I'll admit it was slightly my fault. I was trying to get a few last things packed before we leave for Indiana in the morning. I was scooping some dog food out which made the Zelda (the dog) want to come investigate. I didn't know Zelda was sleep with Squeaker. Anyway Squeaker woke up... Trey got there first but he needed to get back to bed so I grabbed Squeaker. I took her into the TV Room which because of an ant infestation we have been spending night lately so it's set up for us to sleep. Of course the whole short walk Squeaker was fussing and whining. She was not happy to be awake, and I couldn't blame her. Squeaker had taken tired to a whole new level in my opinion. The poor kid just needed to sleep.
Once I laid Squeaker down on the couch and she looked up at me. Her eyes were sunken, dark, almost unnatural. I didn't fully understand but at that moment I could see she trusted me. Trusted I would do anything to get her back to sleep. She trusted me to do anything to keep her safe. Mostly trusted that I would love her no matter what.
For some reason this just filled me with love for my daughter. It almost brought me to tears. I hope I never have so see her little eyes like that again. But I don't ever want to forget that feeling of pure and complete love.