Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Faith Restored!!!!

Not quiet a month ago Squeaker lost her iPad. I mean LOST her iPad. We were at Costco and she had been playing with her iPad for most of the ride over and in the store. As we are leaving Costco he iPad got left in the cart. We didn't notice until we made our next stop. It was only 10 minutes and we were back at Costco looking through carts for it. No luck. Talk to the guys taking the carts in, they hadn't seen it. They even radioed in to customer service to see if an iPad had been turned. No news. We went on our way. Ran our errands, saw the family, initiated a remote lock down on the iPad. The remote lock down would even flash a message saying "This iPad is lost please call ------". I Even called Costco a couple hours later and still no one had turned it in. Squeaker was heartbroken.

I spent the next 3 weeks trying to figure out if I could afford to replace the iPad. The new $50 Amazon tablet looked promising. But once you purchase a warranty and a case it is still just about $100. Which is almost my entire Christmas budget. I could make it work. We have most of Squeaker's presents already, and Trey and I don't need much. But I was hoping to do some fun things for us since it's been such a rough year, and clothes. I like to do clothes at Christmas. I thought about not getting a new tablet of any kind but Squeaker is far more likely to do her school activity apps on a tablet that is hers. When she asks for mommy or daddy's phones she usually like to play fun games or watch videos. That is what we taught her though. The iPad was for school and our devices were for play. I really wanted to get Squeaker a new tablet for Christmas but I wasn't sure I wanted to use the budget for it.

Then comes today. Squeaker, Gma and I went to Costco. The first time since she lost her iPad. Squeaker insisted that we ask if they had found her iPad. I tried to explain that the iPad was gone and that Costco probably didn't have it. She continued to insist that we ask, so we did. I made her actually ask the manager. All Squeaker said was "Do you have my tablet?" That's pretty good for her. I then explained what it looked like. The manager went and checked the lock up in the office. Guess what? It was there. I'll be honest I about cried and Squeaker jumped for joy. She even said that she would try her hardest to not loose it again. A pretty good promise for a 5 year old.

There are so many things in the world today that make you wonder where has humanity gone. Well today, with a little help from Squeaker, I was reminded that there are good and honest people in the world.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Throw Back Thursday

Facebook and Time Hop Apps like to remind you of the past. I think it's pretty cool to know the exact day something happened years ago, or to see trends over the past few years. Today I was reminded of a very important day in our past.

5 years ago today Squeaker was diagnosed with LM. She was 2 months old. Every breath she took she made noise. She couldn't keep food down. She didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time, and would be up for an hour before going back to sleep. She wasn't putting on much weight less than 3 pounds since birth. We had seen her pediatrician almost constantly trying to figure out what was going on. Finally on this day we saw the Cardiologist and Pulmonologist. The Cardiologist did an Echo, and her heart was perfect. A few hours later we met with the Pulmonologist and withing a few minutes of walking in the room he had Squeaker diagnosed. A few minutes after that we had a treatment plan. For the first time I had a real answers. I knew it was far from over and done with but I felt like I could face it.

This memory is very important today. Today was the first time, the first November 5th that LM has not been a part of our lives. In January I wrote about the resolution of this condition. Need a refresher you can read about it here. I look at the picture of Squeaker when she was 2 months old and I see so much.

Her sweet little smile, and big brown eyes. Which reminds me how much I love her and although she struggled how sweet of a baby she was. I also see the swelling and darkness under her eyes, and it makes me sad. To think at a such a young age she was already sleep deprived and unwell. In my head I can still hear the gasping sound she would make while she slept. Maybe someday I will forget it. For now I am content that I don't have to listen to it in real life anymore.

As I type Squeaker is laying next to me in and out of sleep. Even though she is sick her breathing is quiet. Not just quiet but silent, I can't hear her breathe. I can see it. I can watch her chest and shoulders move but there is not real sound. Silence never felt more golden.