Sunday, April 5, 2015

Best and Worst

     Sometimes just catches up to you. No matter how hard you try to be happy and see the good in the world. Every once and a while you just get hit with sorrow.
   Last Thursday was a girls night out. I love these. Usually we just meet up at a Laura's house, hang out in the basement, talk and eat food. And it not just chit-chat. We talk about our lives, tell hilarious stories, talk about our opinions, overall really get to know each other better. Seriously something we need to do more often than the every 7 months we are averaging right now.
     The night started out fantastic. We had a Usborne book party first, and books, hello, so much fun. After a couple hours of pouring over books we just switched into talking. It's what we are there to do. Large groups, small groups, back to one group it just flows as gentle river. And man do we laugh. I just can't explain how uplifting it is to hang out with these awesome woman. It is the best night I'd had in a long time. I was thinking about leaving because it was the time I told Trey I'd be home. I didn't want too, I was having so much fun. Then it hits...
     I get a text. From my best friend Spammers. Yes I call her Spammers. She has had to take her son to the hospital. With is severe allergies trips to the ER aren't uncommon but this wasn't the ER. This was being admitted. This was going to require blood work, a CT scan and maybe an MRI in the morning. My heart just sank. I shut down. He'd been having some health issues lately and it's just heart breaking for me to not be there for Spammers. But Colorado is just too far away....
     I get another text. This one is from Trey. Squeaker is having a hard time falling asleep. She is asking for mommy. Trey says they are fine but it makes me feel like a crummy mom. I'm not there when my baby wants be. Even though I know I need the night away, it still hurts. Now I'm really emotionally distraught. I don't want to leave because the idea of driving seems like too much. But I know I need to get home soon, mostly because morning comes way too fast. So I manage it sit up in the giant arm chair I'm lounging in. Laura has the best furniture.
     Others are starting to make like they are leaving, which in girl world means we will probably standing up talking in front of the door for another 30-45 minutes before we actually leave. Since everyone else is kind of moving I start to move a little more too. Amber notices I'm all of a sudden very down and asks me what's wrong. I tell her about the texts I got and for some reason I just start crying. Not like big ole sobs, but I'm weeping, I have tears coming out. It's making me feel really uncomfortable. I am not a big fan of crying. I don't care how I look, or what I sound like, I just don't like feeling out of control of my own  emotions when I cry.
So here I am telling my sad story, crying and just feeling miserable during what was 10 minutes ago the best night I had months. It went from best to worst that fast. Before I know it, it's going back to best again. Amber hops up from her sit and gives me a giant bear hug. Just wraps her arms around me and I feel loved. I feel safe. I feel that it's okay to hurt. Amber tell me it's all okay. That sometimes life is just hard.
      I pull myself together and stand up. Seriously I have to get home soon. I talk for a few more minutes with some others and just get back to being happy. Then I get a text from Trey than Squeaker is out and he asked me to be home before 2am, it's only 11 at this point. I start to feel better. After then end of a really funny story I see a few others leaving so I leave with them. As we round the corner of the house and head down the driveway Stacy comes up the driveway asking who's gold van is on the hill. I say mine and Stacy tells me that her sister Brooke is touching my van with hers.
     I just burst out laughing. I get on the road and sure enough there is Brooke standing on the brake in her van our bumpers touching every so slightly. In fairness Laura lives on a very steep hill. Brooke had just not given herself enough "roll space" for when she would change gears. And in Brooke's defense she had flown in from Denver that morning, and she is pregnant. Tired is an understatement in her case today.  I'm just laughing like crazy at this point. And I ask Stacy "Why are we letting the tired pregnant woman drive?" Both Stacy and Brooke start laughing. No one was hurt, the cars are fine and seriously it was the perfect ending to my up and down night. I get in my car and drive home.     
     It was up it was down, it was everywhere in between. It wasn't my best girls night out but it sure was a memorable one. 

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