I Don't Wanna!!!

I don't wanna, I don't, I don't, I don't *stamping feet*. 

Please, please don't make me do this.....I don't want to do inhalers 8 times a day, I don't want to worry about over heating, I don't want to have to tell my child not to laugh so hard, I don't want to worry about if my 3 year old is gagging on foods we mastered a year ago. I don't want to listen to my child sound horse, coughing, and high respiratory rates. I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT!!!!

In the last two months we have re-started inhaled daily steroids, Albuterol almost daily, gone through 4 rounds of oral steroids and 2 rounds of anti-biotics. With all of this Squeaker still sounds like she did at 18 months old. And of course with the sounds comes all the other issues. Squeaker is gagging on food which makes it hard to get her to eat. She overheats really fast because it takes extra to breathe. Plus her anxiety and emotions are all over the place.

Now had we not had 5 great months of very little breathing issues I probably wouldn't care. But to have that taste of freedom, and then to have to taken away. Oh it's heartbreaking.... down right heartbreaking.....

Anyway that is our life now. Inhalers, limited time outside, anxiety, and lots of loud breathing. Do I like this part of my life ABSOLUTELY NOT but I have to focus. Focus on the good things, the fact that Squeaker can bowl a 50. That Trey's summer semester is over and he will be home every night now.

Well it's almost midnight and time for another dose of Albuterol for Squeaker. Then I can finally go to sleep myself.